We are all a part of an eclectic, Universal race and yet we still believe we are the only person on the planet when it comes to our view of the world.

We constantly judge, dismiss or disagree with other people’s viewpoints and yet there are still so many of us living our lives according to the wishes of others and the sad part is – not many of us realize this. It happened as we were growing and learning and shaping our future.

We forgot for a moment that we have an opinion, a viewpoint, beliefs and values and then that moment  became an hour which turned into days, months, weeks and now a lifetime of running someone else’s race.

How did that happen? Did it happen when we were children and were told that children should be seen and not heard. Or was it at school when our teacher told us to “stop being silly” because we got creative with our school work?

Maybe it happened when we met the love of our life and found out that what we believed wasn’t true at all because our significant other knows best and he/she said that our beliefs were ridiculous. Have you noticed that women in particular always make the other person right?

Maybe politicians, local government and our environments dictated our opinions.

Or maybe we just stopped believing in ourselves, our dreams, our aspirations and put limitations on our accomplishments. Besides, it is so much easier and simpler to just be part of the status quo, isn’t it?

Your inner gremlins might sound a bit like this:

1. “What would be the point of being successful, wealthy, joyful, it sounds like a lot of hard work and life is so simple when we don’t aspire to greatness.”
2. “Yes, let’s just run this race that has been “programmed” into our hard drive, don’t rock the boat. Don’t make plans, set goals and achieve them.  Too hard.”
3. “After all there are already way too many people doing what we could do and they are great at it. Can’t see the point really
4. “Imagine if we went to all that trouble and then didn’t succeed. Be a waste of time don’t you think? Yes, much better to not even bother. All that learning and growing for nothing.”

What do you think? Any of these sound familiar?

Which side of the fence are you on?

Do you get a kick out of taking on new challenges like my friend and colleague Zoe (Lifenergy.net) who is running her first marathon in her 40′s, taking her business to new exciting heights and still has the time to enjoy the beauty of nature, to nurture her family, take beautiful photographs and create beautiful paintings?.  Zoe is willing to play a bigger game and run her own race on her own terms.

OR are you more like my first example, putting it all into the “too hard” basket?

Either one is fine as long as you are happy with your choice and you aren’t kidding yourself. Life has a way of sneaking up on us when we least expect it if we don’t take our turn at the helm.

A question for you : If you continue to live as you are for the next 10 years and you are still doing exactly what you are doing now, will you be happy with that and be able to look back with a smile on your face?

Only you know the answer to that and if you answered NO then what will you do about it? From my own experience I can tell you it is never too late to start.

As a coach my absolute focus in on supporting women to run their own race in life, in business and in every other area of their lives so they can stand tall and live authentically and on purpose. If you need support, drop  me an email and let’s get you back on track.

If you have a quizzical look on your face, let me explain. Have you ever been in a situation where you just ‘had’ to help out in some crisis or other? Without thinking you just “got on with it” and it wasn’t until later that you realized what you had actually done.

Well this has happened to me on a few occasions. I’ll share one of them with you. We were staying  in a Marina and late in the afternoon I had reason to visit the marina office. The lady in the office was alone and running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to do a dozen things at once so I asked “Can I help with anything”. She replied that is was a bit late in the day but if I was free the next day she would love some help.

The next morning at 9.00am I went up to the office ready to lend a hand and the minute I walked in she gave me a list of people and said “Can you call these people up and see if they want tickets for the Xmas Ball at the yacht club. I forgot to do this and it is all organized and we don’t have the tables full. Many of these people went last year and I haven’t been able to get anyone to sign up.”

So I immediately got on the phone, rang one of the numbers and said ” Oh hi, this is Joan from the yacht club, we haven’t got your numbers yet for the Xmas Ball. How many will be at your table this year? Then I told them about the great band that was booked and the fun ‘we’ had last year. I got a booking for a table of six straight away. If I had simply asked them if they wanted tickets I wouldn’t have gotten the same response I’m sure.

The lady in the office was thrilled and I continued until the list was completed. My sales pitch worked because I was enthusiastic, engaged the caller in conversation and was totally focused on filling the tables. I was actually having fun.

I DIDN’T CARE about myself at all. I didn’t care what they thought of me or my approach or whether they liked me or thought I was a bit over the top or whatever. It had nothing to do with me.

Imagine for a moment how you would feel if you were able to do what you want to do with that same mindset. If the result wasn’t a big deal to you personally. How much better would your approach be and how much more authentic could you be without the nerves.

You may be going for an interview. You may have met someone you really like. You may be in sales or have a business. You may be taking some kind of exam. Imagine if you didn’t care about the outcome. The pressure would be off. You could have fun with it. You could really let loose and say what you would love to say or do something the way you would love to do it. Very liberating.

The next time you feel pressured to “perform” pretend you don’t care and that you are doing it to help someone else and ‘switch’ your mindset. Then I would love to hear from you, and please, feel free to share this newsletter with your friends, colleagues or family members by clicking ‘forward’ in your email options.

COACHES CHALLENGE 

Think of something that you need to do to get a result in your life or work; something that is challenging you in some way. Imagine for a moment that you have no investment in the outcome and then do what you would love to do with this in mind. Totally remove yourself from the situation mentally.

It may even be something that you aren’t looking forward to doing but it is necessary. Whatever it is – stand firmly in the belief that it is of no consequence to you at all and GO FOR IT!……..

If you take this challenge I would love you to share your results here and give you a big high ’5′.

The technological revolution is supposed to make things easier and faster, but instead we just add more to our already full to overflowing calendars.  Then at the end of the day, we collapse  with barely enough energy to put our feet up knowing that tomorrow brings a new verse to the same song – checking things off a never ending  ‘to do’ list.

If this sounds like you, and you’re ready for a fresh start, here are 5 simple strategies you can implement right away so your ‘to do’ list gets complete, you feel ahead of the game,
and you have energy and enthusiasm at the end of your day:”

1. Start the day right. This simply means that you allow enough time to do everything you need to do before you leave the house and a little time to spare. We all have the same hours in the day; it’s how we use our time that is crucial to creating a great life/career balance. Prepare the evening before- your clothes for the next day, work-out gear, breakfast items.

What can you begin to do today? ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

1. Create an Intention for the day. How do you want your day to unfold? What intention would help you move easily and gracefully through your day, even though that may sound a bit far-fetched for you at the moment. It is simply a matter of focusing. By the end of the week you will have fulfilled 5 intentions thereby creating a great new habit. If you’re stuck you could begin with intending a ‘no excuses’ day, or ‘no complaining’ day.

What is your Intention for today? ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

1. First things first: Instead of attacking your day like a Ninja Warrior why not begin to look at what needs to be done while you are still sane and in control. Your first job of the day is to prioritise the tasks that you are in control of and stick with one at a time until it’s done. What can you outsource? When is your energy at its peak? Do the “heavy” jobs then. What are you taking on that you don’t need to? Prioritize, organize, systemize and STOP taking on more than you know you can do. Say NO to interruptions. Set boundaries. Create some systems that you can put on automatic pilot and watch your productivity take off.

What would be a great first step action?

.……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

1.  Move your body. Exercise of any kind is beneficial to our health and particularly for those of us who are on the go all day. Morning exercise is a great way to start off the day, it loosens you up, gives your brain much needed oxygen and creates  feel-good energy. It’s important to raise your heart-rate and also do some weight bearing exercises. The benefits far outweigh the initial resistance. Oh and remember to drink plenty of water during the day.

What exercise will you begin today? ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

1. End the day with thanks.  Find a quiet spot, even if you need to go into the garden, go for a stroll or put a “Time Out” sign on your bedroom door. Take a few moments before bed to breathe in and out slowly, and consciously give thanks for everything in your life. This helps us stay grounded and stops us getting caught up in our current “stories.” Give thanks for something that made you happy today, something you are grateful for and for the opportunity to help others.

What will you give thanks for today?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

By implementing these 5 tips you will notice a difference in your stress levels and begin to feel  in control, nicer to be around and you will be happier.  After all, today’s technology and latest gizmos are designed to make life simpler, not to add even more things to your already overflowing calendar. So make a conscious effort to keep your to do’s to a minimum and don’t automatically add another one when one is complete.

Pick one or two of these tips to begin with and then add the others when and if you would like to. I would love to hear from you if you decide to use these tips.

Joan

HEALTH AND FITNESS by design – the Choice is Yours

Health and fitness go hand in hand and to get, be and stay fit and healthy it’s important to live a healthy lifestyle.

It’s not about going on fad diets or Boot-Camp style exercise programmes.

A “diet” is simply the combination of the foods you consume on a daily basis, each week, each month and throughout your lifetime.

Your diet consists of both your good and bad food choices over a set period of time. A good ‘rule’ to adhere to is to eat 80% healthy 80% of the time. A supportive strategy would be to follow a guideline of “nothing added and nothing taken away” which simply put means that you choose to eat nutrient dense foods that have no added chemicals, colours or other additives. Foods that actually support a healthy lifestyle.

Many of us give ourselves “treats” of cakes, pastries and other “non-foods”. It’s important to realize that these so called treats are poison to our human system so rather than call them treats refer to them as indulgences and make a conscious choice to indulge or not, fully aware of the consequences and enjoy that choice. You are human after all.

When we begin to take responsibility for our choices and practice awareness around them we often find that we stop the mindless bingeing and either make healthier choices or eat less of the non-foods in our diet.

Everything in life is a choice and you are the chooser. These choices are your personal power and you can use this power to reclaim your better life. Why not become your own super hero and begin to live your better life, by design, your design. You can be, do or have anything if you make the right choices.

A better life by design simply means that you begin to set goals and make plans, take response – ability for your thoughts and actions. You stop blaming others and begin to step into your rightful place in the world. What it boils down to in fact is that you grow up.

Some of us take a bit longer than others (myself included) and that is perfect. The main thing is that eventually we “get it” and begin to make the changes we need to make to live a life we love and when we do, we discover it was all worth it.

So, whether your life needs an adjustment or a complete make-over, it can be done with a little planning, some self discovery and a plan of action. A support team is a great help too. It is said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with and therefore it’s a great idea to make sure that these are the people we want in our team.

Be willing to take the time to design your fit and healthy life and enjoy the long term results. So many of us wait until we become ill before making this choice and then when we are well again the plan gets pushed aside until the next time.

Years ago I heard someone say “If you can’t take the time to be well then you will have to take time to be sick”. Why not become one of the few that make that decision now to take control of your life, your lifestyle and how you choose to BE in the world.

Life is a series of choices and consequences and many of those choices are ours to decide. I urge you to take some time this week, think about what changes you would like to make and then draw up a game-plan and action steps that done consistently will give you the results you seek.

It ‘s the small steps taken consistently that lead to the biggest results in the long term. All you need to do is take them. You can do that. I believe in you 100%.

What you can learn from Lady Ga Ga

A starry eyed young girl stares longingly at the bright lights above Madison Square Garden and imagines her own name up there one day. She can hear the crowd applauding, she can see herself up there full of life and confidence.  A little smile appears at the corners of her mouth. She KNOWS!

Fast forward 10 years or so and here she is, that same little starry eyed girl; but now she is Lady Ga Ga loved throughout the world by old and young and an inspiration to everyone of what one little girl can do if she dreams big enough and works toward that dream no matter what! She is finally the star of her own dream and she is performing in her dream venue.

What has that got to do with you? Well, nothing really, or everything.

Did you ever have a big, gigantic dream? How far did you take it? Is it still lying around waiting to be noticed, polished up and put on display for the world to see?

Maybe you have a new dream, something that has been sitting in the back of your mind or heart and you have been afraid to give it “breathing” space in case you get disappointed, or worse still, it becomes real!

We all dream and some of us actually manifest our dreams and the only difference between those who do and those who don’t is application, belief and a willingness to fail. Of course there is also the need to be willing to succeed and often that is the scariest  thought of all.

Do you have a dream and are you willing to give it room to grow and blossom? Can I help with that?

Please share your thoughts and help me to get more people to take more action more often. That’s one of my dreams. We can all have a “limo” moment in our lives, what’s yours?

When everything in life is going smoothly, we are usually aligned with spirit. We feel happy, purposeful and complete.

It is when things begin to go awry in our lives that our spirit gets the wobbles and we don’t feel as if we are in control any longer.

Does it have to be this way? What if we could align with spirit no matter what life threw at us or as I like to say no matter what our choices throw at us.

And that is the key, right there. When we realize that everything in our lives is a result of our thoughts, beliefs and ultimately our actions we have the power to choose.

For example – You are suddenly laid off at work – You have a choice in that moment to react or to respond, or as Thomas Leonard would suggest, to over-respond.

Whatever decision you make in that moment will result in your ultimate outcome. It is simply a fact. (you got laid off) It has no bearing on who you are or what you are capable of. Is it possible that this was a gift to you? A message in disguise. What if this could potentially change your life in ways that you cannot imagine yet?

Perception, values, beliefs and actions are in your hands. The next step is your choice. If you choose to align with spirit in that moment how do you imagine this may lead to a different and more positive outcome? What might be possible?

You are unique, your are smart and extremely bright. You can do whatever you put your mind to.
Where would you put your mind and how can you use the message in this article to help you in your own life decisions?

Will you react or will you respond? What could that look like?

I would love to hear from you if you would like to add to these random thoughts. What is your take on aligning with spirit?

He truly focuses on energy – whenever a dog is “bad” or misbehaves it is almost always the result of the energy the human is putting out and he proves this over and over. His favourite energy words are “calm assertive” and this works wonders for all parties. Dogs mirror their owners.

He stresses that you do not ‘reward’ bad behaviour by giving the dog a hug or patting him. It is about setting rules, boundaries and limitations. Then you give and show love, but only after you gain respect. Many of us treat dogs like humans and they’re not. They need to be guided and a dog owner needs to be the pack leader. That is when we gain respect and the behaviour changes dramatically. A disciplined dog is happy.

This got me seriously thinking about how we, as humans act in different types of relationships. Where are we not creating rules, boundaries and limitations? And because of that how often are we treated badly or misunderstood?

A husband or boyfriend who doesn’t show up, or shows up late and is then given a big hug because we are just so pleased they showed up at all. A boss or colleague who doesn’t give us the recognition we deserve even though we  have never told them we want recognition. Children who misbehave and then are given treats because the parent hasn’t got the patience to persevere with the discipline.

There are many areas of our lives where we allow ‘bad’ behaviour to thrive and wonder why there is a lack of respect. This eventually builds up resentment and gets our “heckles” up when all we had to do was set our rules, boundaries and limitations at the beginning of the relationship.  

Take some time this month to think about some areas in your own life. Think about the people and habits you have created around those relationships and if there is anything you need to change to get the respect and love you deserve. It may take a bit longer than if you had done this at the beginning but it is never too late to start. It goes both ways of course. You may even show someone this newsletter article if you think it might help.

To help you get started this is a great and simple formula.

The Formula is to use these four words in this order …

“When you _______________, I feel __________________.”

· Example of what to say:

“When you don’t show me appreciation … I feel hurt.”  (Note: that’s it, no need to justify)

You are reclaiming your power and taking responsibility for your feelings by saying “I feel” rather than “You make me feel…”

You are also talking about the behavior - the not showing appreciation – rather than condemning the person.

· Example of what not to say:

“You are a moron and … you make me angry.. lol you wouldn’t would you? 

I’d love to hear your comments.

The concept of a Better Life By Design is one I believe in wholeheartedly. We don’t have to sit and wait and hope for life to “get better” and then get into a funk when it doesn’t. We are smart, capable, practical and motivated women and totally capable of  making the changes we deem necessary to live our lives with more meaning and purpose. My acronym for life is Living In Full Expression. My wish is that we all learn to do that  and do it without guilt.

Times have changed dramatically over the last 20 or 30 years. We are now living in the digital age and we don’t have to wait weeks or months for changes to occur, we can make many of them almost instantly. We don’t have to stay in the same boring old job for 25 years or more and then be put out to pasture to bore ourselves to death like we did in the 50′s and 60′s.

We can be movers and shakers well into what used to be considered old age. Remember to an 18 year old – 30 is ancient, and that continues throughout our lives. Whatever age you are – add 10 years, I bet that sounds old to you. It’s all a myth, believe me.  Don’t be suckered into allowing your age to hold you back, EVER!

There are more women in their 40′s and 50′s starting their own businesses now than ever before in history. Women aren’t content to sit at home and wait on everyone else. They want their own careers even if they wait until they reach their 50′s and family commitments have lessened considerably. The problem is, by then they have often forgotten how to go about getting what they want, some can’t even remember what it was!

I began my fitness career at the age of 49, totally blowing out of the water the myth that you had to be a 20 something to run successful high energy fitness classes. I even used to ride my bike in to do the classes. I was fitter then than I ever was in my 20′s and 30′s. and looked and felt terrific. I was just getting started.

Please take time to look around the site, make a comment, read a quote or two for inspiration and keep popping back to see what else I have on offer. You can sign up for my e-course and motivating newsletter too. This site is going to be very interactive and I would love your participation.

I have also introduced my ‘ACTION STATION’ which is going to be a fun, focused, lazer coaching station to help you get unstuck and into action sooner rather than later so please use that if you feel the need. If there is ANYTHING I can do to help you get clearer about your purpose, misson or goal in life just ask, I will be happy to support you.

Whatever your age, whatever your stage in life just know that it is never too late to create the life you have always wanted.

Remember, do what you love, love what you do, and NEVER settle for less than you know you are capable of.

Warmly, Joan

For the next 5 months let’s turn up the heat on our goals. We will begin by getting absolutely focused on our Vision. We will then turn up the gas on our Action Steps and by December we will be celebrating huge Results and enjoying ginormous rewards. Imagine what a fantastic Christmas you could be having this year with no need for New Year Resolutions because you will be way ahead of your game.

If you have something you would really like to achieve why not “go public” and shout from the rooftops what you intend to do, who you intend to be and share your intentions with some like-minded new pals. Together we will give each other encouragement, share wins and challenges and generally just “be there” when the need arises. I will write an update each week to keep us focused.

So many of us try to do everything ourselves because we believe we “should” be able to do so. Not true, as I have found out myself. Life becomes so much better when we aren’t afraid to ask for help or share our dreams and goals with other like minded folk. Isolation isn’t a great recipe for success .

Often just having that weekly accountability can help keep us on track. Big or small, it is the consistency that creates the habits that change our lives. By taking these weekly steps you will be creating your own new habits which in turn can actually change your life. By making a commitment to blog your actions and results you are owning the change and taking accountability. This can be a very powerful and important step, if you’re game!

This is what it might look like:   from 6 – 13th August (If you want to choose a big goal for the 6 months, just break it down into monthly steps and then weekly steps and watch yourself soar!)

My name is: …………………………………..

My goal is to: ……………………………………..                  By ………………………… (date)

My Action steps this week are to ……………………………………………………………………………….

My reward will be ……

My affirmation will be (example) “I am confident, competent and willing to do this”.

The obstacle I face this week is ……………………    I will overcome this by ………………………………………

Just by taking this simple weekly step, imagine what we can all achieve by the end of the year! Let’s go for it!

Joan

Dare to be first! x